Earlier this week we took a trip out to call on a family member who cares for their spouse, who suffers from Alzheimers disease. We went with the intention of lending support, practical or otherwise at whatever level it would be accepted.

When we arrived I realised much more help than we could give in a couple of hours without the older kids would allow us to, a new or renewed commitment to be on hand, present and available was needed. But it is not the larger things which are most urgent. The picture shows some of the disused medications which were left around the house, a potentially lethal cocktail which out family member had no idea what to do with, so he was forced to keep them on display so he knows they have not been taken by accident, we returned them to the pharmacy for him. New medication has been issued in liquid form to get passed some compliance issues, but they secured it with childproof caps - which are also adult proof especially if you suffer from arthritis as he does. We prized the childproof part of the cap off with some pliers and hey-presto! I syringe (which fortunately he was unable to use due to arthritis) was issued with the medication, it was half the size of a dose with markings too small for him to read, if he'd been able to operate it he would have been giving the wrong dose of all this medication all that time.

Even the help that has been received is producing it's own problems. One day a week respite care means that they must get up at 6am just to make sure she is ready for collection at 9am. Although finally successful in getting some appropriate medications the labels are written too small, they medications themselves must be ordered in especially from specific pharmacies and the support for side effects etc is non-existent and thats if you can get them open in the first place.

In short the assistance they are receiving is woeful and although I can't deny the disease has an awful effect on its sufferers the effect on their carers is equally harsh. My main concern is that this carer will end up hospitalised a long time before his spouse purely because no one is helping to meet his needs.

What price for peer support?

Haymarket, 20 Jan 2009
Originally uploaded by ela_jo2005 / Georgina

There are many possible negative aspects to the internet, temptation, withdrawal, fast and easy access to just about anything you desire and the ability to submerge yourself in an online life + neglect the real life friends + family you have. My husband and I have been 'sad' enough as a teenager would say to sit in the same house and previously text each other and more recent IM each other on facebook.

But, four years ago while pregnant with my son I stumbled across a site called babyworld.co.uk and ignored all the 'expert' articles and went straight to something which was at that time fairly unique; a forum for peer support from people expecting a baby at the same time as you and at the same point in pregnancy. Over the interceding 4 years our group has declined and whittled down as members found other forums, had new babies and joined new groups or simply lost the time they once had to spend online but we have maintained firm friendship bonds that we know we can call on for advise when needed. Together we've faced the death of parents, divorce, life threatening illness in a child, diagnosis of life long disorders and more bumps in the road than any of us can probably remember. We exchanged Christmas and birthday cards and hold meet ups and the webspace on which all this was made possible was free to join and use.

But in these tough financial times it seems nothing is without its price and now new members must pay for their opportunity of friendship, the exact price I'm not sure of, I've heard £35 and £50 and lots in between. The premise behind introducing these charges is that 'expert' advise is provided on the forums, and that these experts are on the payroll.

I am not entering into a debate about the quality of such advise but I will say I have found it neither timely or helpful in any circumstance and certainly would not pay for it, especially considering the NHS in this country is free at point of contact.

Its sad that new mums coming to the site may now miss out on the opportunities for friendship I have enjoyed, I hope babyworld can see its greedy behaviour will loose it members and therefore it will loose its advertising revenue as well, which I suppose will lead to higher fees for those who stick around.

Good job facebook is still free!